My Response to a Hateful Email
I recently received the following email anonymously in response to a blog post and wanted to publicly respond since I share this journey I am on...
Allison, Alcohol is a part of international society, always will be… You cannot sit on top of your glass house and throw stones at society. You are an alcoholic, and cannot interject yourself into main stream society! As a newbie alcholic (only sober one year, oh my gosh, you think you are an expert), you have so much to learn and don’t you dare blame your weaknesses on society or death of a family member! You should be ashamed of placing blame on everyone else! Go back to your small town, glass fish bowl life!!!!
So, let me say this...
I have never blamed society and most certainly not the death of my brother for my drinking. You should be ashamed of yourself and YOU should maybe read my blog more carefully. I most certainly am living in the same main stream society as you are, sadly enough. A society that relies heavily on drugs and alcohol to avoid life because we aren't strong enough face life head on. But I don't blame society. Society didn't make me an alcoholic.
When I was drinking, I blamed all my problems on everyone and everything around me, whether it was my family, my friends, my job...whatever it was, I always looked to blame someone or something for my circumstances. Nothing was MY fault. It wasn't until I was sitting in rehab that I realized that the problem wasn't on the outside...it was within me. I was a big fan of the...If you (insert problem)...you would drink too. I honestly believed or convinced myself that I was drinking to deal with my daily problems. Not once did I really think that I had all these problems because I drank. I mean, looking back...it was such a sick train of thought. But then again...alcoholics are sick people.
Today, I don't blame anyone or anything for my drinking. I know that I am 100% responsible for who I am and the decisions I make. I know how ridiculous my thinking was when I was drinking. I have two siblings who lost the same brother. Neither of them turned to alcohol for comfort. No one made me turn to alcohol to cope. I did that all own my own.
Just like I chose to pick up a drink for years to deal with life, I now choose recovery each morning when I wake up. Somedays I have to make that decision several times throughout. I have bad days like everyone does. Could I choose to drink to escape the reality of it like so many people do? Sure, I could. Do, I choose to do so? No. I now have a program for living and dealing with life on life's terms...not my own. A program that I hope every suffering alcoholic will come to know and accept.
I by no means think I am an expert on recovery. You are right. I do have so much to learn and so much more to grow in my recovery. That's the beauty of it. This is why you will find me sitting in AA meetings several nights a week or reading the big book on a daily basis, and writing this blog to share my experiences in hopes that others relate. This is a blog. It's my opinion and my experiences. You don't have to read it. You don't have to like it. The number of people who have emailed and commented with gratitude for my openness outshine any negative comment I could ever receive.
I pray that you will find peace and acceptance with whatever the real issue is that compelled you to write such a hateful response. I thank each and every one of you who do follow and support my blog! I got nothing but love for ya!