I'm Sober, Not Boring
Okay. I get it. There are a large number of people who think if you don't drink, you must be boring.
To be honest, I probably thought the same thing before I got sober. I don't really remember, because I probably wasn't thinking too much about anything or anyone unless it benefited myself and/or was going to get me drunk. I definitely wasn't hanging out with anyone who was sober.
So, I get it. There were years that I knew I had a problem and didn't want to stop drinking. I didn't want to stop drinking because I didn't think I would have fun anymore. I thought my life would be boring. Forget the fact that drinking eventually wasn't fun for me at all and I continued to drink. I still chased it. I chased the fun I once had straight to rehab. And, that's part of the insanity of the disease. Alcohol stopped working for me long before I stopped drinking. It became necessary for me to do anything...to just feel normal. And yet, I still didn't want to give it up because I was scared. I was full of fear. A life without alcohol? Just didn't seem possible.
Even as miserable as I was when I decided to check into rehab...I was scared of a life without alcohol. I had become so comfortable in my own miserable little world. But somehow by the grace of God, my desire to stop drinking was stronger than my desire to continue on with how I was living.
But, how would I ever have fun again? How would I ever live without alcohol? It seemed really boring. So, I get it. You think because I don't drink...I must be boring.
You couldn't be more wrong. I am sober...I am not boring.
The people I know in recovery are some of the most fun people you will ever meet. I mean, we know how to party hard. We didn't end up in recovery by sitting at home reading. We where "those people"...the life of the party. Taking away alcohol doesn't change that. It kind of only makes them more awesome.
You are guaranteed to have fun when you are living day to day. People in recovery often have this new found gratitude for life so we live it to the fullest. Therefore, having fun just comes naturally. It's the kind of fun you had as a kid. And in my humble opinion...that's the most amazing kind of fun! There is something really innocent about it.
I have gained some of the most beautiful friendships as a result of being sober Allison. These people would never have wanted to hang out with drunk Allison. And a lot of them are not in recovery...they are just very normal, good, human beings. But a lot of them are in recovery. They genuinely care about me and I genuinely care about them. They have interests outside of going to bars and getting wasted.
I was out to dinner the other night with a group of women in recovery. We looked around in the restaurant and we definitely seemed to be having the most fun out of any group in there...we were most certainly the loudest if that is any indication. We were also the last to leave. We got the memo when they started stacking chairs on the tables. But we were having so much fun...we didn't want the evening to end. And guess what...we all drove home sober, went to bed and woke up the next day not hungover. We remembered our conversations...we didn't ruin any relationships...we woke up as ladies with our dignity in tact.
I went to the Jay Z concert this past weekend...had tickets on the 6th row and we had a blast. I remember everything about it, which NEVER happened at a concert when I was drinking. I also didn't look like a train wreck at the end of the night.
So, for those of you who think sober people are boring...or if that fear is holding you back from getting sober, I promise you...you are wrong. Sober living is so much fun....and you will actually remember the fun you have!
Someone recently asked me out on a date for a drink. I explained that I don't drink and he was literally speechless. Awwwwkward. He finally says to me, "so, like, what do you do for fun?" Ummmm....well, I replied. Pretty much anything you do (probably a lot more) but I just don't drink while doing it.
I still go out with friends. I still go to concerts. I still go to sporting events. I still tailgate. I still go on dates. I still go to weddings...I still dance.
Not to mention all the things I do that I didn't do before because I was either drinking or hungover. I go to barre (my favorite workout). I do yoga. I hike (sometimes). I volunteer. I go to church. I ride a bike. I'm always open to try anything new because 1.I am never hungover and usually feel up for it, and 2. I have the confidence and self esteem to try anything...even if I suck at it.
My life today is so much fun. I think I used to mistake fun for crazy. My old life drinking was crazy. It was insane. It was dramatic. It was a hot mess, is what it was. Sure, there were parts that were fun. I'd be lying if I said otherwise. In fact, in the beginning of my drinking career, I had a ton of fun. But the fun stops when it becomes a problem...when you try and start controlling it. When you brain obsesses over drinking. When you want to stop and you can't. When you blackout and can't remember anything about your night. When the consequences of your drinking start adding up. When your health is being effected. When you tell yourself that next time will be different...and next time is never different. That, my friends, is not fun.
So, please, don't let the fear of not having fun and being boring keep you from getting sober. I love my life sober. If alcohol has stopped working for you, maybe it's time to try something new. It's scary, I know. Sobriety didn't give me my old life back...it gave me a brand new one and it's better than one I could have ever imagined.