It's a Lush Life

The ability to remain sober and gracious is, indeed, a form of mild insanity.

Hi, my name is Allison. I am an alcoholic.

Hi, my name is Allison. I am an alcoholic. I say this with gratitude. I say this with joy. I say this without shame or embarrassment. Many people in recovery wish to remain anonymous and I respect that. I, however, am not one of those people. I mean, it's not like I was fooling anyone! Anyone close to me could see I was not okay. So, I'm open about it and I talk openly about it in hopes that something will resonate with someone suffering and give them hope . I am proud of my recovery, so why would I want to keep it a secret. So, I say it loud and proud. My name is Allison. I am an alcoholic and I've been sober since June 11, 2012.

I credit my brother, Will,  with saving my life. My younger brother died last April at the age of 29 from an opiate overdose. He had struggled with alcohol problems for several years prior but we had no idea how bad it was for him. I spent the following 49 days after his death drinking  around the clock. I was already struggling with alcohol problems and had been for a couple of years. There was always an occasion to drink. Happy...drink  Sad...drink.  Good day...drink. Bad day...drink.  Bored...drink. So, you get the point. I drank…a lot.  So, when my brother passed away, I naturally turned to alcohol to escape reality. Alcohol wasn't my problem, reality was my problem,  alcohol was my solution.  Will made a fatal error in what he thought was just a short vacation from reality, without much knowledge of the powerful drugs that he was being introduced to, and overdosed. I had a lot of guilt that the disease of alcoholism/addiction didn't take me and instead took him. Trying to make sense of such a tragedy is a little overwhelming, to say the least. I remember sitting in a class in rehab and I had teared up thinking about my brother. The counselor stopped class and came over to my seat, slammed her hand down in front of me on the desk  and whispered, "Your brother DID NOT die in vain. You're here,  aren't you."  My brother knew he had a problem with alcohol. He had asked God for help in a prayer he wrote a couple years back and kept with him in his wallet, which we found the night he passed away. There is nothing more sad to me than a person who knows they have a problem, wants to change and doesn't  know how. I was that person too. A life without alcohol seems impossible to an alcoholic who is suffering. It seemed impossible to me.  Will was one of the unfortunates and maybe his only chance of recovery was going to Heaven, sacrificing his life so that so many of us affected by his tragedy can find freedom from the use of alcohol and drugs.

So, here I am. I started this blog in hopes of spreading awareness and inspiring compassion by sharing personal stories and perspectives. My wish is to provide hope for those suffering and provide some comic relief along the way! Recovery is not a sacrifice. It is an absolutely beautiful thing and an amazing way to live one day at  a time. It is a choice that I make everyday, and by doing so, it allows me to enjoy simple pleasures and live a life of gratitude.



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